**Note: I am a full blown California Girl from it’s Northern counter part (think San Francisco) where hippies are still a thing and everybody wants to be your friend- aka dreamland**
L.A. is its own world.
It’s an environment full of perfectly altered individuals, streets filled with cars and the only “big city” where you have to call a cab instead of hailing one. There is such thing as L.A. style, also known as being a “hipster” and having green juice or a nonfat soy latte that is perfectly drinkable at 140 degrees with no foam (because it’ll make you bloat) is perfectly normal. It’s a place where all artists and creative people alike congregate and where seeing a celebrity is part of your daily routine.
Two Words: Culture-Shock
Quarters Are Like Gold
Every week I ran into the same problem: I was always a quarter short. I could never simply throw a load in the laundry machine if I needed to wear something that night. I had to actually plan to do laundry. WTF?
Don’t even get me started on parking meters.
So, I’ve come up with a good solution:
Never tip your barista with the change they give you, yes be greedy and keep those damn quarters, tip them in dollar bills instead (the plus side, your barista may give you an extra shot).
Traffic really does suck.
Yes Los Angeles is known for its traffic because well, nobody works and everybody is always late. You actually start planning your entire schedule around traffic and yes, it will take you at least 30 minutes to get anywhere in L.A.
In the midst of all my traffic traveling I’ve learned a very important piece of traffic survival:
Always let the beat up car have the right of way. No exceptions.
Honking becomes white noise.
With all the traffic of course there’s the honking. It could mean anything from
“You should’ve ran that red light.” Or “I had a feeling you needed to turn left!” It’s obnoxious. Don’t worry you kind of stop hearing it after a while.
The Homeless Are Brave
Getting gas one day I was in my car searching through my wallet for some cash. Next thing I know I hear a tap on my window, I look and it’s a toothless woman, covered with layers of blankets and wearing a beanie. She points at me and goes “YOU GOTTA LOTTA MONEY” and stands there staring at me.
Street Sweeping, Two Hour Parking, No Parking: READ THE PARKING SIGNS
Holy parking tickets.
I couldn’t even count on two hands anymore; I had gotten so many parking tickets for so many different reasons.
1. Street Sweeping: I get it, the streets need to be swept, but at 9:00 am?? Well unfortunately the answer is yes, at 9:00 am.
Find other parking or wake your butt up and get moving, you’ll get a nice fine to pay the city for that extra sleep.
2. No front license plate: Living in California prior to Los Angeles I had never gotten a ticket for not having a front license plate, in fact when I told my dad about my first one he was shocked, and I thought that was hilarious because he’s a retired police officer, but nope, he had no idea that was a law either. Nail the damn thing on to the hood if you have to.
3. Expired meter: Oh your meter expired two minutes ago? Well, no use going out to put change in it, you already have a ticket. The parking police are out to get ya.
4. Blocking a sidewalk: I was picking up my friend Nicole one day and I had to go to the bathroom so bad (over share) so I pulled onto the drive way really quick to run in. I was maybe gone 45 seconds (ask Nicole, she’ll vouch for me), I come out and there is a guy writing me up a ticket for blocking the sidewalk.
5. The 2 hr. parking sign: They aren’t kidding. Listen to it. Obey it. The parking enforcement actually pays attention.
If you don’t get a ticket, but you park like an asshole, you may get a typed sticker on your car that tells you so. Guilty.
This really is the “hot spot” for beautiful people.
Seriously, does everybody who is good-looking flock to this part of California? Not only does everybody stay incredibly fit (as proven by all the runners on the city sidewalks) but every time I turn the corner there is a beautiful person staring me in the face, dressed perfect with their LA style and “effortlessly messy” hair.
Winter, it’s a joke.
It’s a great reason to move here, the sunshine, the ocean; It’s like summer is always flirting with you as you roll down your window and the beastie boys start playing.
You will have no problem finding a liquor store or food delivery.
Liquor stores are like Starbucks, they are literally on every corner. Hungry at 2 am? You’re in luck, some of the best food is still open around that time. Home on a Friday night and not in the mood to leave your house to get wine? Yea, there’s delivery for that.
There are so many creative people.
Yes, it is true, everybody in Los Angeles is a writer, actor, dancer, producer and the list goes on and on. However, this is Los Angeles, this is what Los Angeles is, the next time I hear someone sigh and say in their snooty pissed off voice, “EVERYBODY is an actor or director here!” Well yes, good job, you get a gold star for noticing. Don’t like it? Move.
People dance to the beat of their own drum in which they are actually drumming.
You want to network and meet somebody to inspire you? Make a trip to this town.