(Georgia O’Keeffe Painting)
In the wintertime, working out everyday can seem like a serious chore. I’ll be the first to admit it; getting there really is ½ the work.
Yesterday was one of those days where I really, really needed the motivation.
While on the boring treadmill doing my interval, sprint and incline routine I had (but of course) a beauty magazine in front of me. Sometimes it’s the skinny models that motivate me, the fashion, the articles about success or sometimes it’s the sex articles
Yes, yesterday it was the sex article that got me through my treadmill endeavor.
Here are a few things I learned
Antiquing: Hooking up with an ex so as not to increase your number of sex partners.
Alternate meaning: to seek a much older woman for sex.
What about seeking a much older man for sex? Women can go “antiquing”, too!
Aussie Kiss: Two words- Down Under
I would ever use this word to describe… that.
Cliterature: Think 50 Shades of Grey
I don’t think I would ever enjoy thinking of a Sadist and poorly written literature when thinking of sex.
The Dialies: The act of calling someone you really, really shouldn’t be calling. Brought on by booze, followed by regret.
It is never a good idea to drunk dial, or have the “dailies”, or whatever.
Dungeon love: A one-night stand that lasts a weekend and makes you squint in the daylight.
That’s not a one-night stand. That much I do know.
Nooner: Getting lunch-hour laid.
Ladywood: Enough said
I do like this one.
Sheet sisters: Women who sleep with the same people their friends sleep with.
Personally, this one is weird. It’s like in the show The League, when the two buddies bump chests and get excited they are “Eskimo brothers”, meaning they have slept with the same woman.
Have we forgot about these two words: Girl. Code?
Switch hitter: A Heterosexual who occasionally plays for the other side.
Pretty sure all of these “terms” originated as something else and we felt they needed to be more creative words to fully describe the creativity in the bedroom.
Women seem to always talk about size. Does it matter? Should we care?
Somebody literally asked me this last week at a bar.
According to a few studies done by scientists the vagina actually adapts to your mans or man of the moments penis.
Boom. Mind. Blown.
Ladies, our erectile tissue, you know found in and around our vaginas, it’s actually also in our lips, nipples and… underarms?
And sorry boys, taking your lady out to an oyster dinner won’t make her horny. Oysters are in fact NOT aphrodisiacs- taking her to the coffee shop may however; stimulants increase heart rate, thus making sex better. Who knew?
Oh and last but not least, don’t giggle while you are trying to talk dirty.
This, friends, is what got me through my cardio: sex, lingo and some weird facts I didn’t know about.
At first I bet you didn’t think this is where the article was going.
Minute MPH % incline
0-2 warm up 3.5 2
2-10 warm up 3.0-4.0 15
10-11 5.0-6.0 0-5
11-12 5.0 15
12-13 5.0-6.0 0-5
13-14 5.0 15
14-15 5.0-6.0 0-5
15-16 5.0 15
16-17 5.0-6.0 0-5
17-18 5.0 15
18-19 5.0-6.0 0-5
19-20 5.0 15
20-21 5.0 2
21-22 6.0 2
22-23 5.5 5
23-24 6.5 5
24-25 6.0 5
25-26 6.5 5
26-27 7.0 5
27-28 6.0 5
28-29 7.0 5
29-30 6.5 5
30-35 6.0 5
35-40 5.0 5
40-45 4.0 2